I’m driving through Taylorsville, North Carolina, there isn’t much of anything other than an occasional tobacco farm. Down the rolling yellow green hills, I pass an abandoned building. Like many I had passed by before, it caught my eye so I turn around. Walking along the side and up the steps, I push open the door to find large pieces of machinery painted bright orange. The mold was growing, the glass was broken - the roof had caved in on the right side of the room, the large pipes and air conditioning duct fell onto various other materials. The weeds were tall, and the kudzu was coming in through the exposed roof and broken windows. Blue and green shadows played against the orange machinery, and the broken glass gave the space a shimmer, for a moment my mind went quiet and I was able to breathe.
I take some photos of color and texture I find appealing.
The geometric form of the man made things bent and torn by natures force was compelling to me, representative of how I felt at that point in life. My mind cluttered, caving in on itself, weeds were starting to grow in the folds of my brain from not taking care of it. My failure to do well in school, my failure to connect with my teachers and peers, my failure to be proud of myself - I was overwhelmed. I notice the sky, the sun providing all of the light in the room, nurturing the nature taking over. I was having a difficult time realizing that you can’t control a lot of aspects in life, sometimes you fail, and that’s okay, the sun will nurture you. Move on.
I was alone. I had no fear of the unknown.
Why fear the unknown when it has done nothing to you? At this point in life the idea of never finding anything or anyone new froze me, made me feel stuck. I found myself bored and uninspired if I was not exploring. Being in this unknown, solitary place allowed me, for a moment, to open my lungs, my mind, I was able to think clearly. I feared what I was familiar with, and in a pursuit of the unknown I learned how to trust myself.
Music I was listening to at the time -
About You - xxyyxx
I Stand Alone - Theophilus London
Telegraph Ave. - Childish Gambino